the jotter book of my life.

about this blog

eestherr.blogspot was opened to jot down the bits and pieces of my life, to accomodate my mindless musings and the daily notes which I wish to remember.

Add on to my memories, will you?

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Design: doughnutcrazy
Icon: morphine_kissed
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HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY QIZHEN! (:
6years of friendship & counting.
a great friend who never fail to tease & bully me in the 4long years of sec sch.
though she always bullys me, her constant encouragements kept me going strong.
she really played an important role & i sincerely thank her for that!
anyway zhen, i have got you a present.
& i had a hard time racking my brains on what to buy alrights?
meet me up one of these days to get it! (:

some notes;
maidy alice; i really miss you alot! & i think it is your job to make an appointment w employer so we must meet up next wk! (:

partner; fix a day & we shall go on our long time ago overdue date w our dear ashley! (:

snrbeng; CHEERUP! fight your way through your troubles & overcome them all! you know tomorrow is definitely going to be better than today! [:

on a sidenote,
i swear you made me felt lousy.
you made me cried.
you made me hate you so much when i didnt even want this to happen in the first place.
so much so much that it is too much for me to take it.
it takes two hands to clap.
& i am always clapping the air.
i cant seem to get hold of your hand no matter how many times i have tried.
apologising isnt going to make any difference.
do it with your actions, do it.
you know you can but you are just not doing anything.
do it before everything end.

& i swear you did make an impact on me.
you really did.

Labels: friends

LAST WEDNESDAY; 18thapril
went turf city to support kaiming & jer for their nationals x-country. they had better be touched that we chiong all the way there & still took cab from bukit timah, fearing that we may miss their race. hahha!

both of them did well & congrats to them, esp kaiming, my dearest cousin! he came in 2nd in position for A divisions race! & hwachong got team champs this year! felt happy for the hwachong team, esp my dearest cousin! gonna upload the photos that we took when he sent it to me. (:

us with jerome[:

LAST THURSDAY; 19thapril
took early leave once again.
was feeling really lethargic. :/
anyway, nic was right.
i seemed to be sick for most of the days this year.
damnit. =S

LAST SATURDAY; 21stapril
NPCC PARADE FIRST AID DUTY AT HTA!
MY LAST EVENT FOR THE YEAR!
& I MISS REDCROSS.
):

initially wasnt late but due to some phone calls which made me forgot to bring my headgear when i went out, i went back home to take again upon reaching the bus stop. =x
passed the vain woman the mirror filled w all my loves. (:

anyway, the first part of the event was really pure slacking & self entertaining since it rained cats & dogs & they cant have their parade rehearsals. i was mad most of the time, laughing like there is no tomorrow, trying to make jokes out of the water bottle-microphone & trying to say some tongue twisters & making their tongues get twisted. HAHA(:

me&hazwani(:

ESTHERS:]

parade & the performances started at 5pm & i was in stretcher squad 1 w alvin sir, in charge of the GOH squads. there were no casualties on my side so well, that is really good! took quite some photos but most of them are in alvin sirs camera!! wait till he send to me then i shall upload it (:

anyway, the instructors bullied me on the way back to HQ la. they kept teasing me with my chinese name. & everyone was laughing so loudly. ><

reached HQ at around 8plus & left HQ near to 10 & went to leonards birthday party! (: had some catching up! thanks short one for the nice chat! that made me less emo! & thanks for the ride home! (:

reached home after 1am that night. worn out but nevertheless, it was a SUPER GREAT DAY! it was fun to be on duty w people like them & it is definitely fun to hang out together w them. too bad some of my good friends didnt get to be in this duty together w me or it would have been totally perfect! [:

TODAY; 23rdapril
lessons ended at 630 just now & this is killing me.
had 3hours of sleep last night due to all the essays that we hadda hand in today.
i am feeling sleepy but yet i cant sleep now cos i still got stuff to settle.
homework are piling up on me & i will soon suffocate to death.

anyway, i am not going school tomorrow.
computer man is FINALLY coming to repair my com & i hadda go for dental appointment at tanjong pagar.
& i will be going to yewtee dental clinic for dental appointment next wed!
special thanks to the super nice nic & his super nice mum! :D

tomorrow is ANG QI ZHENs DAY! :D

i am missing redcross already. ):

Labels: nationals x-country, redcross

famine camps

i really wanna go for famine camp07.

but the next day after the camp, midyears is starting. ):

famine camp 05 w nannytan, denise, qiuyu,

yanping, lydia & connie.

famine camp 06 w denise & connie.

cant deny the fact that the past 2 famine camps had been

TOTALLY GREAT & FUN.

it was especially wonderful w friends around you

attending it w you.

got to know new friends like peishan, char in 05 & not to forget,

my lovely alice & twinnie esther in 06! (:

it has been really great to be sisters in the mohegan family w my lovely alice!

go mohegans~

mohegans(:

ESTHERS:]

my lovely wonderland girl :]

the three of us :]

my fridays starting next week gonna be wonderful.
cos i will be having dates with my best gossipy partner!
she will make my day, i am sure [:

this suddenly flashed through my mind.

-building castles in the air-

this is primary school idioms & i only know it like when?

like last wk during late lunch w shar & jer? =X

my mood is like a roller coaster today.
& i'm staying put at home & keeping myself in my room in order not to let my highly reactive moods affect people around me.

tmr my last redcross hq event before As.
npcc parade first aid duty at HTA.
i am so going to enjoy it & i know it.

with loves,

ESTHER:]

Labels: famine camp, redcross

Never Let You Go

Never Let You Go- Janice

The rain just never seems to bring the joy
I feel the same
Everlasting pain of my loss remains
My heart can't seem to learn to part
The hold you left your mark
All that I dreamed of now it seem so stark

Though I told myself
won't hold my breath
A part of me was dying
There is nothing left for me to do now
but give in,

*Chorus
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes,
And you know I'd never let you go.

The way you left me on the train
I don't know what to say
I remember everything of that day
I can't believe we'd never dance
I just need one more chance
To share the sunset
Our one last romance

Though I told myself
won't hold my breath
A part of me was dying
There is nothing left for me to do now but give in,

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes,
And you know I'd never let you go.

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would sing to you and tell you I won't live my life without you
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling,
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes,
And you know I'd never let you go.

i am addicted to this song.
total addiction. <3

Labels: lyrics

i am finally back for a proper entry before i am gone for another wk.
now I finally understand why my ex-j2 seniors dont have their blogs updated that often. well, there is simply not much time to do so.

HAPPY BELATED BDAYS TO PEIWEN, SHARON, JEANETTE & FREDDY! (:
& HAPPY BDAY TO HAZ! (:

SATURDAY; 7thapril
WRCD was a memorable event for me. well, doing traffic control w estheryeo & the ahbengs were fun! though it rained, taking it on a positive note, traffic control was even messier but we did a better job. borrowing the big big umbrella from the icecream man & escorting the cute links & cadets to their buses with them pushing each other & squeezing to be under the umbrellas was fun! (:

npcc day first aid duty gonna be my last event for the year until before As. i will miss redcross, my all time lover. ): i will miss my friends there too. ):

dinner at pastamania w qingxiang, hongyi & the rest. had a long talk after that at junction 8 outdoor autograph area. (:

SUNDAY; 8thapril
happy birthday to peiwen! (:

MONDAY; 9thapril
SHARONs birthday present was done up especially with the credits to hui & my sister. thanks to hui for your guidance & for pei-ing me all the way to Queensway to get the stuff & my sis for all her art & craft materials. in a blink of an eye, a year had passed. it had been a wonderful year with you around & thanks for always being there for me whenever i feel down. anyway, you know i am always here to let you share your troubles with so do not hesitate to approach me no matter what it is. [:

WEDNESDAY; 11stapril
it was the BEST DAY of the week! it was both jeanettes birthday & class unity day! (: it was our napfa 2.4km run & the guys actually volunteered to pace along w us when they can slack around for pc cos their pc lesson was cancelled. they were so great that all our timings improved so much by at least a min & a half or two. my timing was at a great 13:32, faster by my usual by 2 BIG FAT minutes. & it was all thanks to the constant encouragements by my nice nice pacer, JEROME. THANKS A LOT JER!

after the run, as per normal, i will definitely faint cos well, my glucose level is low & i always feel super dizzy & weak after that. thanks to all the girls & also to my surprise, the guys for supporting me & letting me lean on you & etc. i cant explain how touched the girls are & well, we treated the nice nice pacers of ours to drinks. i am really so proud to say that our class is so united. ALPHA1, the best among all. [:

GP lesson on the debate over the hot air balloon was fun & interesting too. we had lots of laughter listening to all the interesting & funny arguments on who should stay on the hot air balloon. (:

THURSDAY; 12ndapril
has a super long day of lessons. lessons ended at 6pm due to the gp remedial i was in. mr lin fei was a super lame lecturer but he indeed make the lecture interesting.

failed sbj ): but did quite well for shuttle run, situps & pull-ups. sit&reach still can be improved. gonna retake sbj & sit&reach. i wanna pass so that i wont let the guys or maybe my pacer down for that matter cos my 2.4 already got such a improved timing. let me pass sbj!

had dinner w qingxiang & hongyi at hongkong tearoom at lot1. (:
qx, dinner at sakae sushi another day!

FRIDAY; 13rdapril
well, after gp lessons, the girls presented to the guys each a token of appreciation. A handmade card from each of us to each of them to encourage & support them for their napfa the next day! & the guys didnt expect that & man, they were touched! (: (: (:
mstan was so touched by us too. hahha(:
too bad hweeying wasnt here so couldnt take the pix of her & darryl.

PW RESULTS ARE OUT.
i got a B & well, i am satisfied w it. (:
anyway, JJ001, you did a great job! our skit is damn nice can? (:
however, a few of our dearest classmates broke down & others felt sad. upon seeing them feeling so sad, i cant help but teared too. :/
so as their nice nice classmate, i bought them chocolates to make them happy. & the chocolates were all w my love & concern alright? :D glad that it made them feel much better! (:

me & sharon went w jer & darryl & friend to the new balance warehouse to buy their shoes.
had lunch+dinner at vivo carls junior. (:

SATURDAY; 14thapril
happy birthday freddy & loretta! (:
met the w the guys who made me waited super long at the bus stop. went for lunch at JEC’s Korean restaurant. (: sharon & han came later. the guys did super well for their napfa! (: esp for their 2.4 run. my pacer got the same as me, 3rd. hahha(:

went je lib & ended up, we sorted our thoughts there. nevertheless, it was great. (:
watched 200pounds beauty, the Korean movie w sharon after much discussion on whether to watch which show. It was definitely a great show not to be missed. i will be most willing to watch again if anyone asks me to watch that show. i teared cos some parts of the show really melted my heart. we are just your products. =X anyway, hope that the show cheered you up & whatever it is, things will be fine soon. CHEERUP! (:

SUNDAY; 15thapril
happy birthday hazwani & stephensir! (:
i am feeling abit unwell after getting drenched in the rain & going into air conditioned places after that. there is still piles of hmk for me to complete. ):

anyway, I LOVE 06A01! [:

my loves<3

loves,

ESTHER[:

Labels: 06A01

i just wanna blog about 5 statements & stupid blogger just cant load & it took me half an hour!

1. I LOVE 06A01! A1 is all about CLASS UNITY. THE GUYS ARE AWESOME TODAY! (:
2. I LOVE REDCROSS! MY ALL TIME LOVER[:
3. I LOVE MY DEAREST PARTNER! & she loves me too(:
4. I LOVE SHARON!-though i dont understand how china people & angmoh can click so well(:
5. I LOVE ANG QIZHEN! i'm so touched! (:

i'm not myself today.

i was being paranoid or maybe still am.

just ignore me.

Labels: paranoid

You feel worn out, physically and mentally. Recently the going has been tough and it looks as if there is still a considerable way for you to go before you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. If only you could put a protecting wall around yourself and cut yourself off from the rest of the world - be it even for only a little while - how wonderful it would be, but you can't - so you need to bear with it. Just when everything will seem at its lowest ebb you will find that there is a turnabout and your problems will seem to find a way of resolving themselves.

You are working extremely hard trying to improve your image in the eyes of others. You are looking for acknowledgement from your peers and those who come into your sphere of influence. You want to be liked, not for what people think of you but for what you really are.

Everything seems to have gone wrong and the situation at this time is such that you are not quite sure which way to turn. So it would appear that you are 'holding back', re-consolidating your position and relinquishing all fun and games for the time being.

You are experiencing extreme emotional disappointment because it would seem that a particular relationship is no longer running smoothly. You would like to break away from this involvement completely and yet, if this were to happen, then its possible that something very important to you would be lost. You are in a quandary. You are not sure which way to turn. So on the one hand, you would like to free yourself from this attachment altogether, yet on the other, you do not want to lose anything nor risk uncertainty and the possibility of further disappointment. These contradictory and opposing emotions are now causing you considerable stress but you are putting on a brave face - pretending that you don't care.

Circumstances are such that you have been exposed to considerable stress and tension, perhaps due to unfulfilled emotional needs. You would like nothing better than to escape from it all by retiring to some 'fantasy land' where you are permitted to RELAX and get back your strength.

this colorgenics test is just so true. check out the website at www.paulgoldin.com/colorgenics.htm

got back my first term results & it really sucks la.
S grades for gp & geog, E grades for econs & hist.
lectures are getting boring. hist geog & econs are all revolving around the economies and etc.
& i dont understand a single thing. :/
going for dating w all the subjects soon i guess.

broke the 12-day mia contract since my dearest partner isnt feeling that good.
cheer up partner! (:
hopefully next wk gonna be a good week.
my 3 og2 mates' bdaes are just next wk so it should be good. (:
having napfa next week. please let me pass sbj. i dont wanna rejump. :x

i have sort out my thinking already. & i'm glad & honoured to maintain it this way. like what i told sharon, i will make sure i wont mention so as to make sure that it will soon fade away. from black to grey to white. i'm doing a good job so far so let this continue. (:

on a sidenote, WRCD at yiochukang stadium tmr & i can see the fellow red-x lovers! (: looking forward to seeing them! it gonna be one of the last big events that i'm helping out for this year so tmr must take photos! (:

gonna continue w my big big task for her. goodnights! (:

Labels: colorgenics test

april fools' day

my heart is telling me to hold on to what i got,
but my brain is telling me that it is time to let go.
can i take the middle route?

with enough courage, you can do without a reputation.
but i dont have enough courage.

i admit that i'm greedy.
when i have this, i will turn to having more of it.
i will start craving for more, for more & more of it.
i'm getting so addicted to it that i cant stop.
i cant kick away the addiction now.
it's way too late for me.

i have been stuck in this plane for the past 3/4 year.
& this plane is getting me to nowhere.
it's supposed to be bringing me to paris where all the nice sceneries are.
but it seemed to bring me to this deserted land where no one lives there,
& it flew away leaving me all alone behind.

i am elmo's friend today.
alright, it's not funny.
sorry for the lousy attempt.

the above is up to you to believe if it is a joke that i made out just for today.
anyway, happy april fools' day!

Labels: elmo's friend

i guess it will be better without you.
you seemed to be the root of my misery.

WED;
skipped school to attend speech day at fuhua.
the parade was quite alright la except for the small lil incident.
redcross & the ncc goh did quite well (:

received a small plaque each from the school together with the rest of the instructors from the other UGs.
went lunching w denise & thanks for the sweet gift!

met my girl classmates on my way out & I spoilt their plan. haha :x
thanks for the bag! (:
i think i missed out quite some funny moments w the class. =S

THUR;
another long day in sch.
accidentally pulled my leg muscle during pc. :/

FRI;
urban geog test was a total disaster. i am sure to flunk it. :/
school these days are better though I am still failing to cope w my studies.
it is better cos of my dearest alpha1 (:

went towning w sharon & eileen.
bought two basics from zara & mango.
orange & purple (:

went unity sec to meet up qx, hongyi & alvin.
it was their passing out & handing over. (:
cabbed to holiday inn atrium for the annual awards & promos ceremony.
yupps, i am being promoted. haha

as for the rest of the ceremony, i shall let the pictures do the talking. Still collating some other photos like those w lixuan & w the ahbengs. (: