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shine the limelight on me
estherTwentyone next March25. nus arts(: ♥ Lovelies&Besties ♥ Redcross ♥ Htht(s) ♥ Chocolates&Icecream ♥ Me-time ♥ Making people's day a better one /.A beautiful rainbow to paint the grey away. |
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eestherr.blogspot was opened to jot down the bits and pieces of my life, to accomodate my mindless musings and the daily notes which I wish to remember.Add on to my memories, will you? tagboard
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It's all down in the lost walk.
Just how far does it take to make it right? I'll go that far. But I guess, no matter how far I go, it's too late cos you have gone too far for me to even catch the shadow you left behind. I have been trying, have always been. I want to make it good cos I think it's hard to find somebody to click well, to read your mind, listen to you tell long long stories, complain and grumble and pout, but it's lost. One thing that is definite, it didn't cross my mind that the restart button has been pushed even before I predicted it to be. The teeny weeny memories just got pushed to one side cos of this restart button. Not that I didn't realise that things weren't normal. Just that, I guess as humans, we do need time to adjust to it together slowly. We should also make decisions as a whole, together, not as a single party, wielding the decisions as and when one feel that it's time to do so. It should be done together, cos it takes two to clap, to make things right. To at least get it right on the track, it should be done at a consensus level. It isn't fair to do it that way. But I guess I have no veto power? I guess the 8hours of notetin making still didn't convey the message that I wanna put across. Needless to say, the chocs and video won't do the job, if the notes can't even do it. I remember it clearly that "I don't wanna _____ you" was stated very clearly. It's a statement deep down from me, but it may have been taken like any random usual line. There are many things deep down which I want to say & confess, (it's want, not wanted) but I guess it won't be heard too since the ear doesn't want to be here. It's not any emergency bell, it's like the bell tied on to the anklet. But now that it's said to be a job done, I know how much I'm worth and which schedule I fit into, covered it up and worth. "Until then, protect like no other", it doesn't seem to fit into this chapter of the story anymore. Don't sing "the reason" cos that doesn't fit my rule of life. Sing "the climb" instead. It isn't about how fast things must be made changes to, it is about how you are going to change it. Take your time, cos better solutions and decisions are thought of when the two put their heads together to rack about it. There’s always going to be another mountain I’m always going to want to make it move Always going to be an uphill battle, Sometimes I’m going to have to lose, Ain’t about how fast I get there, Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side It’s the climb So what if I don't think it's the best turn out this way? I can't do anything for I'm not the one who decides on it. Now that so many things are just felt only on my side, I guess all these wouldn't be felt as much as I do too. The sorrows, the laughters, the sweets, I feel it, so strong in me. Perhaps it has been running in me, subconsciously. So many things running through, really fast in my mind. If it's across, it's not that bad, cos I know it ran past but it's within, in my mind. Now, it's really hard. One thing I didn't realise from the start was that it would hurt so badly. "Don't say hurtful things to me, I'll run away." Now I guess, we have switched roles and I'm the one who's running away. |