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shine the limelight on me
estherTwentyone next March25. nus arts(: ♥ Lovelies&Besties ♥ Redcross ♥ Htht(s) ♥ Chocolates&Icecream ♥ Me-time ♥ Making people's day a better one /.A beautiful rainbow to paint the grey away. |
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about this blog
eestherr.blogspot was opened to jot down the bits and pieces of my life, to accomodate my mindless musings and the daily notes which I wish to remember.Add on to my memories, will you? tagboard
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it had all FAILED.
FAMILY is in a mess.dad is forever finding trouble. he doesnt change no matter how nicely we tell him. he just keeps blaming any other person for all the faults & etc w/o even thinking that most of it is his fault. he`s always being ridiculous at tymes and blast at my poor mum & sis for no reason. bro is getting out of hand too. he`s getting more & more rebellious. got into some serious trouble w the sch a few days back & if he still continues lyke this, we will just have to give up on him. his teachers had been calling me up & complaining about practically EVERYTHING. poor mummy had been so stressed up w her work & she still gotta face the two stupid guys who had been giving the family lotsa trouble. seeing mummy cry made me feel so even more terrible. SCHOOL is just as lousy. i dont seem to understand those lessons despite paying attention & not falling aslp in class. jeanette, eileen & the teachers had to explain to me a few tymes before i can get the picture of what the sources are talking about. do i have anyone to explain to me during examination tyme? besides adding to the fact that i`m always one of those being bullied & people not sparing thoughts for. personal attacks & hurtful comments regarding seat allocation & ... RANDOM ASPECTS i am one who is not capable of doing anything. only others are capable. only another person can do things well for them. no matter how much i dedicate myself & do everything well for them, all the efforts & recognition will sure be given to another person & not me. people may even say that i`m living off the good reputation that others had brought it to. i`m just useless in the eyes of many. just some lousy 10-7 slot. overly sensitive? think too much? nah i dont think so. even if i`m a lil more sensitive than other tymes to you or you or you, it`s because i cherish & i care. it`s because the actions & words said will hurt me tremendously esp when it is said & done by my good friends. you may think that it`s just a small lil matter only & i`m lyke all so emo over it. i`m not lyke emo-ing or feeling so terrible for 1 or 2 problems of mine. what you know may just be one part of my many many problems. friend A know a part of my probs. friend B know another part. friend C know another prob of mine. & so on & so for. nobody knows everything except for myself. nobody understands how difficult it is for me to go through all these. lyke what i told sharon just now, all different aspects & parts of my life had failed in one way or another. now all i`m left w are some good friends, my mum & my sis. that is all that is left of esther. behind my smiles, there are sorrows. behind my laughters, there are tears. behind the back of my head, i know that it is way too much for me to take it. you cant find me. neither can i myself. |