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shine the limelight on me
estherTwentyone next March25. nus arts(: ♥ Lovelies&Besties ♥ Redcross ♥ Htht(s) ♥ Chocolates&Icecream ♥ Me-time ♥ Making people's day a better one /.A beautiful rainbow to paint the grey away. |
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about this blog
eestherr.blogspot was opened to jot down the bits and pieces of my life, to accomodate my mindless musings and the daily notes which I wish to remember.Add on to my memories, will you? tagboard
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Todae feeling sooo sianx again.omIgod.ytd gt back hp fer a while den found out a lot of stuff.hmmm.msg hIm den tok crap a while.found out frm hIm tt he had been sending gdnitex msg every single nite to mY other hp which is confiscated.ohmI.kinda guilty?i also dunno.jux feel a little bad.no wonder tt dae he saw mI in sch dun even dare to look at mI lorx.he tot he made mI angri sia.sorriex lehx.rotting nw.think later going boonlay huh?needa pei cousinx there.sianx.
8th feB is drawing nearer & nearer.memoriex are drifting further & further.hope tt bY that dae,all memoriex between mI & him will be totally gone.nO more hurtx.nO more tearrs flowing fer hIm.nO more thinking of hIm.nO more missing hIm.nO more loving hIm. Wanna comment on ytd de first aid duty.i did mentioned tt I situated at first aid base right? think it gonna be the busiest station out of all ba.heard frm yixuan tt there will be no any walkie talkies given to us cos they are all spoilt.the sch very wat sia.dunno how to go get new ones mehx?it cant be tt one of the opposite stations needed help & they hadda run all the way to the FA base right?every minute is impt in first aid de lehx.arghx.dun care much first.aniwae,yixuan ytd sooo poor thing.sick liaox still hadda be stationed there.but really gt no choice cos all is planned by jannah dex.hope tt she will get well soon ba.hmmm.some of the cadets performed realli badly.haix.dunno how to sae them sia.some jux slacked ard.neber do much lorx.jux kept seeing denise & mI ran here & dere.diaox.wonder wat the rest are doing sia.the sec2s realli needa learn a lot sia.cos they nt even standard first aiders.dunno whether they are up to the task or nt.some particular sec3s realli wanna drive mI crazy sia.dun even knw the proper wayx of carrying a stretcher lorx.den halfway thru,the whole stretcher was slanted to one side.nearly scolded her.haix.we realli cant afford to make any mistakes esp major ones like dropping the casualty.doesnt she rmb the 3 rulex of a first aider?preserve life,prevent condition frm worsening & to promote recovery.haix.think we shld conduct more FA lessons to refresh all their memories & also to teach the sec2s. These few daex kinda bz huh? Sighx.mondae went sch wib manly voice.l0lx.that’s how denise describe mY voice.zzz.sianx.gt sooo much hmk lorx.2dae gt two tests also.omigod.sooo tired.last nite been sooo packed wib stuff.gt fdC training lorx.aniwae,mdm vijaya confirmed tt we gotta a dance performance on the 5th feB at orchard at 8pm to 8.30pm on mY dear connie de bdae!!! L0lx.kinda excited liaox huh?oopsY~ cant blame larx.it is mY dear de bdae mah & also it is the first time tt we are performing in the public.oh mI.aniwae,we maybe asking the scouts to dance the machi dance if they can make it & if the whole half an hour time slot is available to us.hope tt u guyx can cum support us ya? it is jux beside orchard mrt station, the big field beside wisma atria.btw,a big thanx to angelx fer helping mI wib the bio stuff.although u super duper blur like a sotong,mI still mux thank u rite?l0lx.hahax.angelx super duper de lame sia.realli lorx.think u can change ur name to hippo the lamest( hypothalamus) l0lx.u teach mI de horx.aniwae,paiseh lehx.cant tok 2 u at tt time fer long cos ma was somewhere near mI.den I wasnt supposed to talk abt other stuff other den sch work.sorrie.& also, a thousand sorriex for raking up that tsunami diaster matter.realli sorrie.thanx fer taking out some of ur expensive time to talk to mI lehx.l0lx.this morning went sch ard same time.almost overslept sia.realli miss mr chia lehx.heard frm xiaomin tt mr chia came back ytd morning in his NS uniform & bade mr phor goodbye.sadx rite?though it is onli a short 2wks,I sorta cant wait this long lehx.cos this new teacher realli very wat sia.like dunno how to teach like tt.& also,dunno why lehx.see her face alreadi sianx diao liaox.hahax.2dae gt tt tupid egg de lessons lorx.wahpiang.after maths lessons,the class showed class spirit again.everybody joined their tables together.all cramped in the centre of the classrm.l0lx.tt realli wanna drive tt egg crazy sia.l0lx.we all sooo damn happie sia.quarrelled wib her again.sianx.she very kb sia.realli dunno wat else to sae abt her sia.xinfei,zhan hui & baoling voiced out u knw?omigod.tt feeling was sooo gd~ lalalax~ realli hate tt egg sia.she is a total freak! Hmmm.enuff of mY saliva scolding her lex.dun wanna waste sooo much effort.hahx.btw,2dae dunno why sooo suai sia.spoilt sooo many things lorx.mY FAVE purple color hairband broke into 2 lehx.i jux put it ard mY neck den suddenly kris tell mI mY hairband dropped.i was like huh?cos I still felt it ard mY neck mah.who knws it broke into two & 1 of them was still ard mY neck? Diaox.-.-''' not onli tt lorx,mY pencil case de zip spoil.diaox.i neber even touch it lehx.den suddenly canut zip lex.to add to all these unlucky stuff, the badge tt denise bought fer mI had dropped.wth.wahpiang.realli broke liaox.still wanna save money buy prezziex & valentine prezziex de lehx.haix. This whole week had been another buzy week fer mI.think tt’s the life tt sec4s have ba.sooo stressed up with schedule sooo packed.mondae & wednesdae gt fdc training den thur gt unit training.toking abt thur can realli drive mI crazy sia.tt idiotic ms ek very kb sia.tt new P oso lorx.arghs.dun wan tok abt them lex.makes mI wanna boil sia.sianx.thur ncc gt promotion sia.sooo gd.our turn oso cuming soon lex.but dun quite like it cos cant get the rank I want.hahx.suan lex ba.fri went to chinatown wib cousinx & big family.tupid alan sae abt mY outfit again.sae I nt suitable to carry handbag.zzz.pleaded wib ma asking her back fer fone.said tt I can use onli a while.haix.suan lex ba.a while better den cant use it at all.msg wufeng asking him abt his workplace.wanna go find him.wanna go see if audrey is dere too.cos there were jux too many ppl lex & mI cant even find the street names so dunno where that place is.jux kept walking & walking.tok him I lost liaox.suddenly received a call frm him.he said tt he sae mI & was behind mI.l0lx.mI sooo damn excited.but the thing is tt I dunno walk until where den at the junction liaox.gt 4ways to go mah.dunno where I came frm.diaox.stupid mI lorx.asked alan help mI find.haix.maybe realli no fate ba.ma told us to get going lex.cant even see him lorx.sianx.he tt dae still worked until 12am plus lorx.haix.he realli dunno how to take care of himself sia.alwaex like to make ppl worry dex.sadx.ytd morning went sch self studi before dance practice starts.sianx.all alone sia.nvm ba.maybe studi alone can absorb better.they came at ard 11am.haix.the whole atmosphere nt quite gd at first.aniwae,todae knw a few secrets.dun worry larx gurlls.mI wont leak out any information dex.mI & minyen went out help them buy bubble tea lorx.aniwae,thanx chen lao shi fer the pizza.it’s sooo nice.thanx.on the way dere saw jJ & jinming.diaox.they sooo dao sia.walked to bubble tea shop also saw them.passed jinming the strepsilx.went back sch den slacked ard.pei xianggong go out buy bubble tea.helped them out in some of their meeting stuff.didnt go playgrd wib them after tt cos needa go home lex.moreover,mI oso nt feeling very well lorx.throat hurtx terribly.still gt flu.sianx.nw angelx still nt online lehx.hope tt he can cum online soon.i’m exploding wib all these probs in mI nw. haven blogged fer a long time lex.let mI think where shld i start huh.haix.hp kanna confiscated again.tis time is becos of him lehx.i didnt even msg den he msged mI.ma thought i using hp while doing hmk den kanna confiscated lex.sianx.dunno how long can i survive without mY phone this time round.stupid daniel still sooo scretive sia.these few daex had been msging or i shld sae talking to him on the fone.hmmm.thanx aniwae fer waiting until so late tt nite to call mI.i'm sorrie too.hahax.actually it's nt mY fault worx.cos jinming called at that time.l0lx.hahax.no larx.actually we oso gt a lot to talk mah.hmmm.last fri gt rC training.b4 tt went jp wib denise,laogong,minyen,qiuyu,yankai,bunny & wanting.sooo many ppl horx?still needa do head count de lehx.hahax.reached there wanna buy bunny's prezzie & oso kangwei's prezzie.also wanna makan at ljs.wEeEeS~ mY favourite!hahax.it's also jinming's faVe?dun 4get that u still wanna treat mI horx.hahax.jkjk.aniwae dunno why we spent such a short time to get all the things that we wanted nia.very fast leave jp lex.not in a hurry to go fer training lehx.miracle sia.hahax.on the way back,asked minyen lend mI hp listen to songs.'perfect','the reason' & 'pretty boi' still touched mI most sia.listen lex gt a bit wanna cry wanna cry like tt.hahax.a bit emotional maybe.dunno larx.aniwae promised him & minyen todae tt i will try to control my mood dex.hahax.he said tt this is gd fer health.l0lx.mux listen more to him larx.moreover,minyen oso wanna mI nt scold sooo much.hmmm.fer the whole training neber scold much lorx.think didnt even scold huh?l0lx.cos they damn tupid sia.hahax.nt damn.is super duper.l0lx.jb & 1 scout went to keep tt aluminium sheet & mind u,they were dragging the sheet kaex?created sooo much noise sia.den mux fight the noise wib mY command.in the end command went out of tune. -.-''' tupid cadets laughing like hell sia.l0lx.sooo SUPER DUPER paiseh sia.nt onli tt.taught them the tukar langkah tukar.our dearest connie went to change the whole command & timing sia.change to tukar langkah tuduck? l0lx.timing frm check (bang) change to quack (bend).l0lx.they SUPER DUPER creative rite? l0lx.sumtimes realli cant stand their crap sia.hahax.aniwae,we all exceute the 'new' command lorx.the SUPER DUPER malu thing is that cos i'm the 'mother duck', i'm supposed to stand in front den the whoel squad sabo mI.i was the onli one exceuting the command nehx. -.-''' sooo paiseh sia.throw face lehx.worst still,both scouts & npcc in parade square.lucky the ncc nt back yet or else even more throw face sia.bunny wanna go back home lex mah but mI nt letting her off sooo easily fer her b'dae prezzie lorx.wahahahasS~ asked everyone go get ready their water bottles den here goes. *splash* *esther nt escaping frm tt too. splash* l0lx.mY fault again?hahax.whoel squad came after mI sia.omigod.mI even more wet den the b'dae gurll lorx.l0lx.why alwaex like tt dex arx?tt time sabo minyen i also kanna.this time oso.worst still,tt afternoon very windy sia.felt sooo cold lehx.sadded rite?mI sooo poor thing nehx.fell sick the next dae.tt dae had a talk wib connie & nanny.tok abt some probs tt rC is facing.& oso abt tt b*tc*.sianx.everything tok abt her will spoil mY mood dex.heck larx.aniwae,tt dae waited fer dan until 7pm seh.he big lorx.hmmm.aniwae,sorrie lehx jinming.cant pass the sweets to u on saturdae.sorrie.hahax.will find time to pass to u asap dex.jux take carex ya?fer the past wk had nt been msging mY counsellor angel lex.oso neber msg him.sianx.hope to get back fone soon. it had been so long ever since i blogged lex.btw,thanx denise fer the star chain & oso nanny fer the stepfanie's cd.been sooo bz everydae.gt sooo much hmk sia.a bit no used to it cos last time dun have any a*maths or e*maths hmk dex.hahax.lucky sissy chong is no longer wib us or we shall die sia.aniwae,it had been such long,tired,bz daex fer mI.thur had parade rehersal.realli dislike some ppl sia.during normal trainings dun wanna turn up.gt parade rehersal this kind of thing den cum.they sux sia.hmmm.on fri the venturex came back fer the campfire preparation stuff.weEeEeSs~ sooo happie to see them sia.esp wufeng cos mI had nt seen him fer a long long time lex.oso very happie to see jinming & jiawei as well.hahax.went back to sch in the afternoon fer first aid duty & dance practice.sianx.they all were late.nvm ba.practised wib qy.thanx denise fer helping us out wib the radio fer tt whole dae.everyone were present at ard 5.20pm except fer abi & thus qy will substitute in fer the campfire performance.practised the dance.some probx cropped up.sianx.aniwae,mux realli thanx minyen fer being sooo patient wib mI while practising the new dance steps wib mI.mI slow learner mahx.hahax.went to watch the campfire.it's sooo great but too bad i was late in seeing the fireballs go down the wire to the main fire.sadx nehx.hahax.the whole atmosphere was quite gd larx.went to find wufeng tok tok.he neber wear full-u lorx cos he was late tt morning.a bit worried abt him sia.he worked until 6am plus tt morning lehx & onli managed to catch a few hours of slp.haix.dun even knw how to take care of himself sia.really made mI worried.jux dun wanna him work sooo hard & tire himself out.saw tt person hu i disliked damn lots.wahpiang.see her realli spoilt mOi mood fer the nite sia.sianx.heck larx.it was soon our time to perform lex.dunno why lorx.i sooo nervous.hahax.thanx jessi fer calming mI down.during the dance everyone performed quite gd bax.mum & dad they came rite after the performance.mum nearly banged onto jb sia.lucky neber.they came here to see bro.heard frm laogong tt kangwei's mei,chengteng's mei & jb's di in 1H.wOws~all same class dex.after the performance,we all sooo enthu.joined in the songs & etc.stood on the chairs swaying here & dere.hahax.a bit siaox horx?wanna take pix wib wufeng.paiseh lehx.i didnt knw tt u were alreadi waiting at the spiral staircase lex.tot u haven go dere yet.made u waited so long.sorrie.campfire ended & sher gt gastric pain.poor her.saw her in tt pain realli pains all of us sia.her mum realli very irresponsible sia.went outside sch to flag a cab.mux thanx tt driver fer nt getting impatient nor chargin us extra fer waiting over dere.hope tt sher will get well soon.tt nite's mood realli dropped a bit.all went home except fer mI,denise,laogong & qiuyu.haiza ma quite angri tt nite.tupid edwin lim & sexy teo sia.how can he pushed everything to her & how can he blame her fer the mistakes made at the campfire?she's nt even the teacher-ic kaex?we went to put up the banner & everything.thanx hotat.gt a bit gastric.sat on the floor dere.kinda dead.asked wufeng hurry go back home cos he tml still needa work.pei him walk to the gate or shld i sae front porch nia?haix.sianx.mI wanna pei him walk all the way outside sch den he jux keep using his fone nia.actually it's obvious lorx.he dun even needa mI accompany him dex.his hp is realli impt u knw?why are those guyx alwaex like tt?first is ks.nw is him.maybe it's realli true tt when u have gfs or wateva,u will neglect the ppl ard u.or maybe jinming's realli rite.maybe wufeng & mI shldn't have gotten so close in the first place.it hurtx mI even more nw.haix.cried tt nite.jux sat down dere crying.paiseh to all hu called mI tt nite but i neber ans u.realli no mood to ans sia.haix.thanx qiuyu,laogong,denise,dan,cs dI,jiawei,jinming & those hu consoled mI.went to bathe at ard 11.45pm.the water sooo damn cold sia.like mOi heart like tt.it's sooo damn cold.haix.qy,denise & laogong went to do hmk in rC rm.hahax.mI distracted them by lying down there.dun feel like doing lehx.dunno why larx.i alwaex sooo weird dex.when ppl do tt time i dun wanna do.den when ppl dun wanna do tt time,i wanna do.asked them go slp at ard 2 plus.mI cant slp so went to do hmk in the canteen.sat at the booth tt side.do a*maths hmk.tupid scouts very crazy sia.still discussing stuff until 3am.hahax.kangwei,sherman & haris + benedict & jiawei sooo tupid lorx.hahax.they playing in the middle of the nite?l0lx.throwing sweets & 'buns'.tupid lamer jiawei still wanna give mI tt dolphin-shaped sweet.l0lx.jb msged mI.thanx fer ur concern aniwae.been msging jiawei all the while larx.he very funnie sia.cant slp den keep dsiao ppl.dun let ben go slp.a 'fight' began again.hahax.lucky gt these crazy ppl in mOi life jux fer this nite or else i would be spending it crying all alone.thanx.it rained the whole nite sia.the sec1s sooo sotong.no wonder they called sec1s.some guyx cum ask mI whether i gt any change cos they wanna buy cold water.some even asked mI if they can bathe.-.-''' bathe in the middle of the nite?moreover,it's raining lehx.sooo cold.l0lx.woke those 3 piggies up at 5plus.they still wanna continue slp lorx.realli pigs sia.tt dae de parade realli very wat sia.it's raining lorx.nt quite heavy larx.but the parade square gt many puddles of water.continue normal marching.our dearest commander denise very GOOD to us nehx.cos we wanna march out lex mah.den she needa march in front of us den bang.tot she knw tt dere gt puddle wont bang sooo hard.she raised her leg 90degrees & *pissssssssshhhhhhhhh the water splashed onto our faces sia.into mOi mouth too.l0lx.tupid her horx?l0lx.we nearly killed her sia.hahax.after parade rehersal gt cca dae.mux realli thanx jj fer helping us go home in the rain to burn the cd fer us lehx.or else we realli dun hab cd fer our competition.thanx.as fer wat happen after tt,i dun tink i realli gt the mood to blog.haix.think it's all mOi probx ba.if i'm nt such an useless leader,all these wouldnt have happened.sry everyone.i'm realli sorrie. does anyone ever understand how i feel? i dun think they ever do.i'm living in fear fer most of mOi life.gt restrictions fer this & that.well,that's nt all.quarrels at home,lectures frm mum,redcross stuff,sch work,frenx & ... there's plenty of stuff waiting fer mI to do & worry.sumtimes frenx tell mI not to worry sooo much but how can i nt do so?kept telling myself to lac a bit.dun care sooo much.well,i dun tink i can.2dae's the first dae of 2005 & there cums all her lectures.last nite work until 1am plus den morning still needa wake up at 8 alreadi damn sianx liaox.moreover i'm still running a fever lorx.she dun seem to even care abt it.why mux she alwaes drag everything down when she scolds mI?she scolded mI fer msging too much when the msg limit fer this month hadnt even exceeded 200msg.is that realli too much?can she be more reasonable?& also,as fer net surfing,i dun think i spent too much time cos the maxi times i went online last wk was onli 3times & each time nt more den an hour.is that realli too much?i dun get it.she scolded mI fer going to sch sooo many times a wk jux becos of rC.there's realli jux too many things abt rC tt we needa do esp at the end of year wat.the 30wk planning,sec1 orientation parade trainings,banner+noticeboard+flyers+posters & also our dance.haix.talking abt rC,i realli dunno wads happening.both banner & noticeboard still nt ok yet.as fer the orientation parade trainings,there's a lot to be improved on.footdrill trainings were still nt enuff fer them.dunno wads wrg wib mI ytd morning.it's attendance-taking onli & i had been scolding them like siaox.i dun even believe mYself getting sooo worked up.nearly cried out.maybe haiza ma is rite ba.we are sorta too close wib some of our to be sec3s.cos it's like the i/c is taking attendance & everybody shouldnt even move about or talk in the squad.scolded the squad 3times & some of the to be sec3s are still chit chatting away while the rest of the squad was quite disciplined.where's our disciplined squad?haix.maybe should give them some more time to change ba.i realli hope that everyone will change.including mI of cos.hope that they can differentiate between when to be serious & when not to.our dance competition audition is only exactly a wk later & till nw,we still haben finish thinking the whole set of dance steps yet.why like tt?maybe it's mOi fault ba.i dun even help them out in the thinking dex.haix.the dance costumes still haben decide yet.wad shld i do?ytd,dior frm hq still called mI up to confirm the audition time & etc.feeling sooo stressed up sia.wad an useless leader i am.aniwae,maybe ppl do change.maybe i am sensitive.last year de dance was not as interesting as this years' but fer last year,everybody was very enthu participating in the dance practices.but fer this time,it was nt the same.they were no longer as committed as before.take 29thdeC fer example.haiza ma didnt turn up cos her granny still in hospital.dance practice was supposed to start at 8.30 & yet some ppl were late while others dun wanna turn up.it was supposed to end at 11-12plus & i was the onli one left at that time.we were supposed to practise on our dance steps & try to perfect them wib our timings even when 1verse had nt been done yet.but after practising fer a while,some went to settle their personal outings & stuff.i'm nt saying it's wrong & they cant do it.but they should have tried to plan it later instead of during the practice?haiza was quite angry when she heard abt it.haix.we cant call up dior & tell her tt we back up nw rite?haix.wad shld i do?feeling confused & troubled.nw finding ppl to donate their stuff & money fer the tsunami diaster.hope tt u guyx can give a helping hand to those in need of help now.-useless mI |